Tinklin' the Ivories

I remembered that Conor spent hours last year in these little, tiny rooms, practicing piano for his big recital. I thought, what the hell, I’ll check it out. I even got dolled up, tux ‘n all. I thought maybe the tux-aura would permeate and help draw Conor’s spirit to me; but alas, it did not. Since I was there anyway, I practiced some sweet love songs for the ladies. Here's a sample of the lyrics:

I just wanna do something special for all the ladies in the world (Ohhhh...)
I just wanna do something special for all the ladies in the world (Is that possible... Is that physically possible...)

Caribbean (Ladies)
Parisian (Ladies)
Bolivian (Ladies)
Namibian (Ladies)
Eastern Indochinian (Ladies)
Republic of Dominican (Ladies)
Amphibian (Ladies)
Presbyterian (Ladies)

Outta sight... (The amazing ladies!)
Late night... (The hard working ladies!)
Erudite... (The brainy ladies!)
Hermaphrodite! (The lady-men ladies!)

All of you hermaphrodite lady-men ladies
With your sexy lady bits
And your sexy man bits, too
Oh, even you must be into you!

All the ladies in the world
Wanna get next to you
Show you some gratitude
By making love to you! (It's the least we can do...)

If every soldier in the world
Put down his weapons
Picked up a woman
What a peaceful world this world would be!

Redheads not warheads!
Blondes not bombs!
We're talking 'bout,
Brunettes not fighter jets!

Ohh, it's got to be sweet 16's
Not M16's
When will the governments realize?
It's got to be funky sexy ladies!

I have a vision and all I can see
Is all of you with all of me
In a world of peace and harmony
Where every lady gets a piece of me

I've been to Paris, New York, and Amsterdam
And wham-bam, merci, danke, thank you ma'am
So don't care if you're ugly or you're skanky or small
I just wanna do a little something special for you,

All the ladies!
In the world...
You deserve it... Girl...

I think I’ll keep this tux on for a while, to see if I can pick up some babes.

Lookin for Lovin,
Grunt